My life is kinda sorta spinning out of control, and nobody cares or even notices. I'm always asking how are people and how are they, but nobody ever asks me how I am and listens to me. So, I'm giving up on always being there for people right now. I just want somebody there for me, you know? Just listen to me. Is that so hard to ask for? Apparently it is really hard to ask for, but whatever. Man, I don't know how to really explain it but stuff has just been piling up and I haven't been able to keep up with it. I'm pissed all the time. All the time. The smallest things piss me off, from the level of music that's playing on my iPod, from not being able to untangle a knot in my necklace chain.. I think something is wrong with me because I've never been so upset and down in awhile. I can't sleep at night and I'm always busting into tears. All I've been doing is sleeping and watching reruns on the television with a migrane that I have had for two weeks. I've given up on every single thing. I'm just not me at all, and I tried to talk to Brendon about it but he could give a fuck how I feel. His words were, "You need to calm down." First, don't tell me I need to calm down, I HATE that. Second, can't you tell I'm hurting? Just shutup and listen to me vent and cry. And, I guess it can be hard for one person to sit and listen to me or anybody bitch about stuff, but I'm always doing it for him, and I've never flipped on him. Ugh, I feel like I'm rambling and not getting to the point, but I have no idea how to even express my feelings. I guess Imma stick to just crying until I get better, because nobody could care less to actually know why I'm just falling into a dark hole of depression. Now, I'm confused and even more upset. All I want is for somebody to show me that they actually care, and I have yet to see it.


*I've given up on this blog too. School. Boys. Religion. Crew. Friends. Everything.