So, tell me why..

I was getting so frustrated at my iTunes because I could not figure out why my new Raheem DeVaughn CD was not playing in order. It took me five minutes to figure out that my iTunes was on shuffle.

Wow, Diamond.

But, yeah. I felt like posting these two pictures to symbolize my breakup with Brendon. I'm done being his bestfriend. Of course I'll miss him, but this is what we both need. We fight all the time and it's so unnecessary, so we are done. He needs to get his act straight & know that he should watch what he says out of his mouth, because it can be really hurtful. & honestly, I don't even really care that we aren't bestfriends anymore, because he was always disrespectful and never was willing to be there for me when I needed him. It was always ALWAYS about him, I'd help him with stuff, but he'd just tell me to call him when I got done with my "permanent PMS." Stfu. So, I don't care. I'm done. The last straw was him calling me out of my name. I deleted his number from my phone, & I might delete him from my Facebook. I can't & won't deal with a selfish bestfriend who thinks that the world revolves around him and who thinks I have no common sense.

Have nice life Brendon.

formspring.me

why you fake on me in school?

Um? Idk. Maybe I don't like you.

Are you in love?

Nope.

wat did you wear today?

A striped dress.

how is crew?

Ask me in a couple of weeks.. Ugh.

jizz?

In your pants?

how many guys have you kissed this year?

This school year? Three.

Since '10? One.

What was your favorite toy to play with as a child?

Um, my Barbies.

What's on your mind?

Fist Pumping Like CHAMPS!

"It's not as important, but it's equally important."
Lls, whattt?

I'm actually kinda happy this morning,

Good morning :)

Am I Howard-bound? Um, I don't know yet.

But their fineeeeeeeeeee boys are def catching my eye.

It's Sweatshirt Friday in my mind, & I'm eating oatmeal again :)

Now, I must try and start my homework that I haven't dared to look at :/

Guess where I'm going once I get back from school...

RICHMOND! Yessssssssss :D

I figured it out.

I think I know what's wrong with me. Not really, but I kinda have an idea. I'm not relaxed at all. A lot of stuff is going on and I don't know who I can really turn to so I can get some stuff off my chest. My friend says I need to go smoke, and I thought I'd never say this, but maybe she's right? No, Idk. Idk. Idk. I wish I could go talk to Mike, he always gives good advice and is kinda sometimes patient with me. Or maybe it's just time for me to go to Richmond, Savannah always makes me laugh. Goodnight, Imma go listen to John Mayer & get ready to wish at 11:11.

Music.

Chris Brown - In My Zone Mixtape.

.

Nando - In My Song.

Cayan - A Couple of Nights.

My life is kinda sorta spinning out of control, and nobody cares or even notices. I'm always asking how are people and how are they, but nobody ever asks me how I am and listens to me. So, I'm giving up on always being there for people right now. I just want somebody there for me, you know? Just listen to me. Is that so hard to ask for? Apparently it is really hard to ask for, but whatever. Man, I don't know how to really explain it but stuff has just been piling up and I haven't been able to keep up with it. I'm pissed all the time. All the time. The smallest things piss me off, from the level of music that's playing on my iPod, from not being able to untangle a knot in my necklace chain.. I think something is wrong with me because I've never been so upset and down in awhile. I can't sleep at night and I'm always busting into tears. All I've been doing is sleeping and watching reruns on the television with a migrane that I have had for two weeks. I've given up on every single thing. I'm just not me at all, and I tried to talk to Brendon about it but he could give a fuck how I feel. His words were, "You need to calm down." First, don't tell me I need to calm down, I HATE that. Second, can't you tell I'm hurting? Just shutup and listen to me vent and cry. And, I guess it can be hard for one person to sit and listen to me or anybody bitch about stuff, but I'm always doing it for him, and I've never flipped on him. Ugh, I feel like I'm rambling and not getting to the point, but I have no idea how to even express my feelings. I guess Imma stick to just crying until I get better, because nobody could care less to actually know why I'm just falling into a dark hole of depression. Now, I'm confused and even more upset. All I want is for somebody to show me that they actually care, and I have yet to see it.


*I've given up on this blog too. School. Boys. Religion. Crew. Friends. Everything.

I hate love.

I'm late, I know, but whatever. My Valentine's Day was good. I had three valentines, but my main one was Brendon. My others were Mike and Jerel, but I didn't even speak to Mike and Jerel didn't even call me, so Brendon won first place, haha. He's so sweet, he wrote me a poem, but he said I can't post it anywhere. I'm sick of love, lol.

Rihanna - Rude Boy.

I'm in love with this video for some weird reason.

SN: Is it okay to not know what you want entirely?

Not Quite Done

I know I was done with you first, but you being done with me now

only makes me want you all the more.

I'm beyond jealous.

I want this. Why can't I have this? Fun, true love. It makes me so sick to sit here and post this, because my tail is actually really really jealous of how happy they are. Maybe because Valentine's Day is coming up and I don't even have a valentine, nor was I asked, I don't know. Hmm, yeah so I am jealous because Valentine's Day is coming, and then I'm also jealous because I'm seventeen, but yet I feel like an infant in the love department. Haha, all I want is a guy to buy me some flowers, a small teddy bear, and possibly take me out on a real date. Is that so hard to ask, lol? I guess, my daddy will be my Valentine again until someone asks me, which will probably never happen, :/ Damn. So, yeah. I'm JEALOUS. Really jealous. I hate love cause I've never been in it, and I hate them because they have it.

But the photographs are simply beautiful, &I really like her flickr: BunnyJenny.

Saints.

Awh, too cute.

Congratulations, I was rooting for ya'll.

Kanye West

Omarion

R&B and Rap?

Trey Songz - Til The Day I Die

Lyfe Jennings - Busy

Robin Thicke - Slow Down (tags)
Wale - O Let's Do It (Cover)

Lil' Jon f. Mario and R. Kelly - Miss Chocolate

T-Pain f. Young Jeezy - Reverse Cowgirl

Damian Marley f. Nas - Strong Will Continue

DJ Khaled f. T-Pain, Ludacris, Rick Ross, & Snoop - All I Do Is Win

Travis McCoy f. T-Pain & Young Cash - The Manual

Lloyd Banks f. Julez Santana - Beemer, Benz, or Bentley

Cudi and Trey calm me down.

Thought that this would brighten my depressing moods.

And Happy 17th Birthday to my bestfriend since 3rd grade, Jocelyn :)

I want to stab you in the face.
In regards to this comment:
"if you dont know which one you want by now, then youre lost. shouldnt be that hard to figure out."

You obviously don't understand my situation, so leave me alone.

John Mayer.

Beautiful.

I can't focus.
I finished Chapter One for my annotations,
But I need to move along to Chapter Three, Five, and Six.
I just can't though, too much is on my brain to even sit and continue.

I want to talk to my bestfriend, but I'm scared.
I've changed a lot between us and it sucks ass.

John Mayer is supposed to be helping me get over this heartbreak,
But he can't even do the job.
This means, Collin and I will be on the phone tonight.

Brendon.
Marcus.
Mike.
Jerel.
Saidu.
GET IT TOGETHER, DIAMOND.